Hey! Keep that pointy thing away from me!!!I ' M   P A T
And that's that.

Well, I'm a bird of few words, actually, I'm a bird of no words as I never talk. It's not that I didn't learn how, it's just that I'm not very bright and have nothing to add to a conversation. I know, I know, some of my species just won't shut their yapp, going on about wanting a cracker, and even cute stuff like "here, kitty, kitty," but you won't hear any of that stuff from me. Instead, I would rather eat perches, throw birdseed all over the house, and molt. Molting is one of my favorite things to do. I even thought about opening a business making pillows until I saw how big they were -- gosh, a bird could molt his entire life and not fill even one pillow. So for now, I am unemployed and sit around most of the time, waiting for the next chance I get to poop on somebody.

 

Answering Email... I hate SPAM!
Always the Life of the Party
Oh yeah, it's Mister Pat now, huh, wise guy!
Grandpa Pat was a General in the Confederacy.
Staying on top of things, just trying to get ahead.
Gosh, I Hate Moving!!!
Oh, I think I am going to be car sick!
Mmmm piffff shmmmm mmhm
If I have three sunflower seeds and you have two sunflower seeds...
I'd eat mine and yours and we would have zero sunflower seeds.
This math homework is so easy.
Meow?
I don't speak cat.
Now quit slobbering on me.
I think this new laptop is hungup.
Wrestle Mania! 
How am I going to answer my fan mail like this?
Ahoy there from me and my old pal, Pirate Mike.
I should have taken the hare.
The turtle was faster.
They call it a cage, I call it incarceration.
Psst, here's the plan. You pretend you accidentally left the door open.
Summer Home in the Catskills
Then the cockatiel came unto them saying ...
Whew! Would one of you wise guys change that child?
Ho, ho, ho
Deck the cage with bells of ....
Back To Carpe Shar-Pei


Background music is original composition by Robert M. Morrow, Jr.

 
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